Reframe your Thinking
Learnings from The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
If you are open to the lessons at hand, The Courage to be Disliked has the power to change your life (creatively). Let’s explore.
‘The greatest life-lie of all is not to live here and now.’ (258)
Power to Change
In consultation with Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga gleaned the essence of Adlerian psychology.
Explored via a conversation between philosopher and student, The Courage to be Disliked rejects Freud’s notion that our past shapes our present; asserting that we are all capable of change.
As the student gradually examines his own life, coming to appreciate the merits of Adlerian psychology; so, too, does the reader.
Making Change
The philosopher refers to ‘life-lies’. That is, things we tell ourselves to support our true goal, such as keeping ourselves ‘small’.
At the Heart of it
‘…all problems are interpersonal relationship problems.’ (51)
According to the philosopher, all problems stem from how we relate to others: our tendency to compare ourselves with others, our need to seek validation from others. Of course, engaging with others is necessary and important. The philosopher refers to this as ‘life tasks,’ split into the areas of work, friendship and love. (91)
Separation of Tasks
The philosopher suggests that when we require validation from others or try to control things beyond our control, we are not living our own authentic life.
‘What other people think… that is the task of other people, and is not something you have any control over.’ (129)
For the creative, this lesson is a powerful one because it suggests it is up to the writer or artist to create and put their creation into the world. What happens after that, how their work is received is the task of other people.
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Reference: Kishimi, I. & Koga, F. (2013). The Courage to be Disliked. Allen & Uniwin.